There was a time when I wore hardness like armor. I thought the only way to survive life’s chaos, from court dates and client calls to car breakdowns and bedtime tears—was to tighten up, shut down, and keep pushing.

But I was wrong.

“Softness isn’t weakness. Softness is wisdom. Softness is strength that doesn’t need to shout.”

The Lie We’ve Been Sold
We live in a world that tells us that being soft means being naive or unprepared. That unless we’re hustling 24/7, we’re falling behind. Especially for women raising families while rebuilding themselves, the pressure to always be in grind mode is intense.

So we adapt. We numb. We harden. We hustle through heartbreak and burnout. We hold in our feelings and call it “being strong.”

We call survival "strength" even when it's draining us. But real strength isn’t about never breaking. It means breaking open with intention and choosing peace anyway.

What Choosing Softness Really Looks Like (For Me)
Today, softness looks like:

• Crying without guilt when I need to release.

• Asking for help instead of pretending I’m fine.

• Telling my babies “I’m not okay right now, but I will be.”

• Walking away from drama without needing the last word.

• Sleeping in on a Thursday morning and calling it healing.

Softness means setting boundaries without building walls. It’s knowing I don’t have to argue to be heard. It’s being rooted in peace while the world moves fast and loud.

Doesn’t Softness Mean "Letting Things Slide"?
That was a big thing for me. I used to think that if I softened, people would think I was somebody to play with or that I would stop chasing goals, or get taken advantage of. And because I ain't no punk, I thought ambition required constant tension.

But guess what? The opposite happened:

• When I got softer, I got clearer.

• When I stopped fighting everything, I could focus on what mattered.

• When I stopped micromanaging life, I started manifesting things with less resistance.

I didn’t lose my ambition, I deepened it. Now I’m building with intention, not just momentum.

What I’m Teaching My Daughter (and Myself)
Softness isn’t just bubble baths and deep breaths, though I believe in both. It’s about showing my daughter (and sons) that grace can be strategic. That being in tune with your emotions makes you more powerful, not less.

It’s teaching them:

• You can lead and still need rest

• Your sensitivity is not a liability

• Kindness is a form of courage

Try This: 10-Second Softness Reset
Feeling overwhelmed? Stop and whisper this to yourself:

"I can be soft and still protect my peace. I can slow down and still succeed. I am allowed to exhale."

Now take a deep breath. That’s softness re-centering your power.

Want More of This Energy?
I created a free download just for you: Pretty Soft, Still Powerful – 10 Affirmations to Reset When You Feel Like Giving Up

It’s your quick, printable dose of peace when the world feels loud and heavy. Grab it HERE!

💫 Final Thoughts
Softness is not the opposite of strength. It’s how I stay strong without losing myself.

In a world that demands we rush, grind, and prove... choosing softness is the real power move.

Stay soft. Stay rooted. Stay resourceful.

xx Toi